No man’s land…
27 Mar 2008
Laure Anne writes… For the last few months I’ve felt like I’m in a spiritual ‘no mans land’. What do I mean by that you might ask?
Many will be familiar with the analogy of the ‘mountain top’ and ‘valley’. The mountain top being a place of excitement, reward, happiness, a place where you can see the world from a bigger perspective. A place of sunshine and joy. A place where you feel literally on top of the world.
The valley is the opposite – a place of darkness, a place of death, a place of pain, of fear, of loneliness, of struggle. A place where it’s difficult to see the world, because your view is mired by looming landscape making you feel small and insignificant. Valley” experiences may also be associated with the ‘desertplace’ or ‘wilderness’.
When I’m ‘walking through the valley’ or ‘found in the desertplace’ (hmm…so many worship songs!) I find that it’s a place of questioning. I’m often found to be down on my knees crying out to God for help, or yelling and screaming at Him angry about a situation I don’t understand. And the loneliness is often self-inflicted because I’ve shut people out, or have been too proud, nervous or embarrassed to ask people for help. Going to church is a struggle. I don’t want to be there partly because I don’t want anyone to see me in my weakness, and partly because I don’t want to praise a God that I’m angry at. But I’ve always found that I’ve discovered how much I am loved in those times because my family (that includes my friends) come through encouraging and supporting me through it. I also find myself praying more. Reading my bible more. Mainly because I’m looking for answers. When it seems like everything in my life is being stripped away, I’m left with nothing to rely on and almost forced into a choice of trusting God or drowning in self-pity.
When I’m on a ‘mountain top’ the extremity of my bubbly and hyperactive side comes through. Great for me, but at times very irritating for everyone around me! Everything is exciting. I can see everything from God’s perspective. The world makes sense. I’m enthusiastic, passionate and ready to go head first into something challenging.
But then, there is this place in between. It’s generally a period where nothing of note (pleasant or tragic) is happening in my life. I don’t feel a need to rely on God because I’m not being challenged. I’m also not excited. I’m not waking up each morning wondering how I’m going to get through the day. My prayer life becomes dull and stagnant. I’ll read my bible, and I’ll understand the message in it, but it’s not exciting me. I’ll go to church, I’ll go through the motions (say hello to welcome person, thank them for giving you a notice sheet, find a seat, greet the person sitting next to you, sing a couple of songs, sit down, listen to the notices, pray, sing more songs, pray, listen to sermon, listen to a call to be prayed for and think ‘oh good, I don’t need prayer for that’, take communion, sit and reflect, sing some songs, sit down, pray, go through to church hall and chat to people while they drink tea/coffee).
I wonder what other people think of me when I’m going through those times because I think I can become complacent with my life, and with my faith in God. And I reckon that’s when my cynicism kicks in too.
I don’t know about you, but I find the difficult times in life are a struggle to deal with, but I do know how to deal with them. And the happy and exciting times, are well, happy and exciting – no problems there. But I don’t know how to deal with things being ‘ok’ when I ‘don’t need prayer, because I’m plodding along quite nicely thank you’. Basically, I don’t know how to cope when life knowing Jesus seems pretty average, dull and mundane as opposed to exciting, challenging, difficult, painful or fulfilling…
Do you relate to this? How do you cope when you find yourself in a period of spiritual ‘no mans land’?
14 comments
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Comment by brett jordan
11.32 am on 27 Mar 2008
The ‘no mans land’ (no persons land?) you talk about is the majority of most people’s lives. In the Scriptures it is probably the ’silent bits’, the years where nothing is written about, Jesus’s life between his teens and his 30s, Paul immediately after his conversion…
for them, they were almost certainly times of preparation for their missions, including studying, prayer, and a host of mundane activities common to every human being
It is these times when we need to be establishing our intellectual, spiritual and physical disciplines, so that we are ready to cope with the challenges/dangers that difficult and euphoric occasions can bring
for me, that includes regular bible study, worship, fellowship, developing and maintaining good eating/sleeping/exercise patterns, exploring my strengths and weaknesses, working on time-management, etc…
and, if we have got spare time and resources, these are excellent times to be looking at ways in which we can help other people who are not in a similar situation
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3.33 pm on 28 Mar 2008
[...] No Mans Land Here’s my latest guest post at Jason Clark blog – please leave comments on the original post [...]
Comment by Laura Anne
3.35 pm on 28 Mar 2008
Thanks Brett – sounds like its a time of increasing our self-awareness and a time that needs self-discipline…
Comment by Helen
2.55 am on 29 Mar 2008
Laura Anne, I wonder if part of the problem is that your ordinary life (in between the high points and crises) doesn’t feel ’spiritual’ to you, so it’s hard to see how it has value to God.
Off The Map has a whole site dedicated to helping ordinary Christians believe the ordinary things they do count to God.
It’s called Doable Evangelism because Off The Map believes connecting with people in ordinary but kind ways is an act of evangelism.
Maybe I’m completely wrong but you might like to take a look at the site – maybe it will encourage you that you’re doing more for God than you think on those ‘ordinary’ days. Maybe those chats you have after church mean more than you realize to the people you’re chatting with. Maybe throughout those ordinary days you are doing small ordinary things that make a meaningful difference in the lives of others…and God of course notices every one of them – he forgets sin but never the good things people do.
Comment by Adrian Roberts
1.04 am on 30 Mar 2008
Helen: I just clicked on your Doable Evangelism link and read some of it, and had one of those “Wow, God does speak to me!” moments. This is what I read:
“This belief is based on what Jesus said “If you give a cup of cold water to a little child because you are my disciple you won’t lose your reward.” Matthew 10:42.
“Our culture’s equivalent of a cup of cold water is attention. OAs are free attention giveaways.
God counts, notices and works with our smallest efforts (including praying behind peoples back or even noticing them) to carry people along toward himself”.
I am someone who has always has a massive hang-up about speaking to people about God, Jesus, Christianity, etc, because (a) I have a massive hang-up about speaking to people about anything at all, and (b) in my formative years the idea of “witnessing” was presented as a legalistic requirement with the implication that I’m a failure and all my non-Christian friends are going to burn in hell if I don’t witness.
I think one of the best things about the way the church is developing now is a realisation that – to use Premier Christian Radio’s slogan – its about Real Christians living Real Lives in the Real World (or something like that). Real Christians don’t find evangelism easy, Real Non-Christians don’t respond to being given ultimatums (“get saved or else”), but God understands that, hence the cup of cold water suggestion.
Maybe Conservative Evangelicals might label this as woolly Post-Modernism, Post-Evangelicalism or whatever, but as soon as you introduce grace rather than law (and God introduced it first), things become woolly.
So, that’s one bit of legalism I’ve got nearer to being liberated from today. I just pray that I really will be able to give the cups of cold water, give attention or whatever, and say the right things for that person when the opportunity arises.
And this after a day when I was feeling particularly useless in the Kingdom.
Adrian
Comment by Helen
3.03 am on 30 Mar 2008
Adrian, I’m glad it was encouraging to you.
Comment by Laura Anne
3.26 pm on 30 Mar 2008
Thanks Helen! :-)
Comment by Jim Henderson
5.13 am on 29 Mar 2008
Take heart
Jesus spent the first 30 years of his life doing nothing ( or at least nothing notable enough to be written about) Which makes him a God I can truly identify with.
Comment by Paul
8.16 pm on 29 Mar 2008
grin, as am almost 33 yr old, i’m considering retirement too ;)
Comment by Laura Anne
3.24 pm on 30 Mar 2008
That is an excellent point Jim – I often wondered what he was up to and thinking between M&J losing him at Passover, and him going to a wedding and turning water into wine!! Lol.
Comment by Jim Henderson
3.10 am on 30 Mar 2008
Adrian
Send helenAToffthemapDOTcom your address and we’ll get a copy of Evangelism Without Additives sent to you
Comment by Adrian Roberts
12.48 am on 31 Mar 2008
Jim
Thanks, will do. Do you realise that I live in the UK though, not the USA? If thats a problem I will try and order it over the net.
Adrian
Comment by Helen
2.46 pm on 31 Mar 2008
Jim is fine with sending it to you, Adrian. I hope you enjoy it!
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11.11 pm on 30 Apr 2008
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