Die Heretic

Old one, but still funny…and reveals the exclusion of many churches.
—–

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to
jump off. I immediately ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.
I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”
“Like what?”
“Well … are you religious or atheist?”
“Religious.”
“Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?”
“Christian.”
“Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”
“Protestant.”
“Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”
“Baptist.”
“Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?”
“Baptist Church of God.”
“Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of
God?”
“Reformed Baptist Church of God.”
“Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed
Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?”
“Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!”
To which I said, “Die, you heretic scumbag!” and pushed him off.


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19 comments


  1. Trackback by DB on DB

    12.22 pm on 26 May 2004

    Lets Not Take Ourselves So Seriously

    jason clark : emergent-uk: Die Heretic There is a bit of heckling going on about the place at the moment. This is a nice way to remind us that we can take it too far…..


  2. Trackback by DB on DB

    12.45 pm on 26 May 2004

    Lets Not Take Ourselves So Seriously

    jason clark : emergent-uk: Die Heretic There is a bit of heckling going on about the place at the moment. This is a nice way to remind us that we can take it too far.. Thanks Jason…


  3. Comment by DannyG

    3.05 am on 27 May 2004

    thanks for posting Jason…I heard Winn read this in Idaho that one time but had’nt found it since.


  4. Comment by alwynlau

    7.04 am on 27 May 2004

    yeah, i saw it on email once, never able to get it again, :)

    it does wake our tradition up somewhat to our near obsessiveness with boundary-making, doctrinal precision, etc.


  5. Comment by Patrick Blyeth

    3.12 pm on 27 May 2004

    Ouch…. sad, but true! Althought this is told as a joke… it’s often too true!
    God, please have mercy on us all, we don’t know what we do!
    (and this is coming from an American Baptist!)


  6. Comment by Sivin Kit

    6.10 pm on 27 May 2004

    you put a smile o my face … a giggle as well :-)


  7. Trackback by Sivin Kit's Garden

    6.19 pm on 27 May 2004

    Die Heretic

    I think I’ve been pretty serious lately, but having a good laugh is so necessary to be human especially when one can laugh at themselves (I think crying is good too but I’m sticking with some merry-ness for now). Thanks…


  8. Trackback by Sivin Kit's Garden

    6.20 pm on 27 May 2004

    Die Heretic

    I think I’ve been pretty serious lately, but having a good laugh is so necessary to be human especially when one can laugh at themselves (I think crying is good too but I’m sticking with some merry-ness for now). Thanks…


  9. Trackback by Sivin Kit's Garden

    6.20 pm on 27 May 2004

    Die Heretic

    I think I’ve been pretty serious lately, but having a good laugh is so necessary to be human especially when one can laugh at themselves (I think crying is good too but I’m sticking with some merry-ness for now). Thanks…


  10. Trackback by Sivin Kit's Garden

    6.20 pm on 27 May 2004

    Die Heretic

    I think I’ve been pretty serious lately, but having a good laugh is so necessary to be human especially when one can laugh at themselves (I think crying is good too but I’m sticking with some merry-ness for now). Thanks…


  11. Trackback by Sivin Kit's Garden

    6.22 pm on 27 May 2004

    Die Heretic

    I think I’ve been pretty serious lately, but having a good laugh is so necessary to be human especially when one can laugh at themselves (I think crying is good too but I’m sticking with some merry-ness for now). Thanks…


  12. Trackback by Sivin Kit's Garden

    6.22 pm on 27 May 2004

    Die Heretic

    I think I’ve been pretty serious lately, but having a good laugh is so necessary to be human especially when one can laugh at themselves (I think crying is good too but I’m sticking with some merry-ness for now). Thanks…


  13. Trackback by Sivin Kit's Garden

    6.24 pm on 27 May 2004

    Die Heretic

    I think I’ve been pretty serious lately, but having a good laugh is so necessary to be human especially when one can laugh at themselves (I think crying is good too but I’m sticking with some merry-ness for now). Thanks…


  14. Trackback by Sivin Kit's Garden

    3.18 am on 28 May 2004

    Die Heretic

    I think I’ve been pretty serious lately, but having a good laugh is so necessary to be human especially when one can laugh at themselves (I think crying is good too but I’m sticking with some merry-ness for now). Thanks…


  15. Trackback by Sivin Kit's Garden

    3.19 am on 28 May 2004

    Die Heretic

    I think I’ve been pretty serious lately, but having a good laugh is so necessary to be human especially when one can laugh at themselves (I think crying is good too but I’m sticking with some merry-ness for now). Thanks…


  16. Comment by Daniel Priest

    1.49 am on 30 May 2004

    If I’m not mistaken this comes originally from Emo Phillips.

    http://cmgm.stanford.edu/~lkozar/EmoPhillips.html


  17. Comment by Pete

    5.13 am on 11 Nov 2004


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  19. Trackback by WWTFRNU

    9.49 pm on 19 May 2005

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    Die Heretic


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